The moment I woke up I knew it was going to happen. But I was still in denial.
Today is the day that I’m not going to be in pain, I told myself. I declare it in Jesus’ name!
And yet…pain.
Excruciating pain running from my deck down my arms. Legs feeling like they had fifty-pound ankle weights around them.
And the brain fog. Oh, the brain fog.
I was hit with another fibromyalgia attack. Even though I do a lot of things that help minimize fibromyalgia pain, there are some days when it is inevitable.
I try not to talk about having fibromylagia too often. I know it is part of my story, but it isn’t my whole story. Jesus is my whole story, inside and out.
But if I’m going to be honest when I was first diagnosed I threw myself a grand ol’ pity party. After two years of testing me for everything under the sun, fibromyalgia was the conclusion the doctors came to. It meant it could improve, but it would always be there.
Well, they don’t know my God, I thought. I serve a God of miracles. This will go away.
And then it didn’t.
This miracle hasn’t happened. Yet. I’m a follower of God and so the hope is ingrained in me. But it doesn’t look like a miracle is coming anytime soon.
So at some point, I realized I had two choices: I could continue to throw myself a pity party. Or I could take what God let happen, and figure out how to use it for good.
And now it gets to be part of my story that I share with this wonderful community. About how I serve a God that didn’t fix my fibro, but allows me to pray for other people in chronic pain. I serve a God I have found in the deepest darkest moments of pain. Indescribable circumstances of crying out to God in pain, and then feeling immediate peace that can only come from one source.
I never thought God could take my pain and turn it for good, but nothing bad in this world could overtake the goodness of our God. So when we face trials that don’t seem to have an easy resolution, we can ask: God, what good can come of this? How can you use this bad to glorify your good? We will be surprised by the journey God takes us on to show His glorious power.
