Every woman wants to be loved and have her handsome prince come on his white horse to whisk her away for her happily ever after. The key is how do you find your handsome prince?
Does he just show up? Do you begin praying for a husband? Does God reveal your spouse to you? What does God say about finding a husband? And probably the question that we all want to know is why is God making me wait for a husband?!
I asked many of these same questions as I searched for my husband. And He saved the best one for me!
My Search For a Husband
Having a boyfriend was important to me so I really wanted to date to find the right guy. In college, I dated a Christian guy for almost two years. We got along pretty well and agreed on most topics. There were some topics where we differed but each person is entitled to an opinion so we continued seeing each other.
Even though we talked about getting married, we couldn’t agree on where we were headed with our lives. I had tried to break up with him twice and he didn’t want to. Really, I didn’t want to either as that means you have to start your search all over again but something wasn’t right. I prayed over and over for God to give me wisdom as to whether this guy was the right one and if so, I knew that He could work out all the kinks.
My Love Story Continued
In the meantime, I had met a guy, named Dave, when I worked at camp the previous summer. We were writing letters back and forth during the year. You know–the pen and paper kind of letters as this was before email was mainstream for all of us. I was asking him to pray for my boyfriend and me.
Dave was asking his boss how he could pray for us when he actually liked me. He told his boss that he’d rather pray that we break up. His boss wisely said, “Pray for God’s Will.” So Dave did.
A couple of months later, I was back at summer camp as a counselor and Dave was working there too. While I was at camp, my boyfriend and I broke up. He realized that he was keeping me from doing what God wanted me to do and that we were going different directions.
I had wanted out. I got what I wanted but it hurt!
That day we were working on work projects at camp. There was a picnic table that I painted a deep evergreen color. I was praying and crying out to God. I was glad that we finally broke up as I just knew something wasn’t right.
But I wanted to get married. That fall was my senior year of college and then I was heading off to seminary. How was I going to find a husband now?
After crying and praying more, I was determined that I needed time to heal and that I was going to dive deeper into my relationship with God. I didn’t need a man. I needed God to be my everything.
The questions that I had asked over two years ago started all over again for me.
Can You Pray For a Specific Person to Become Your Husband?
Yes. You can pray for a specific guy to be your husband. However, it is isn’t the right person for you, God will reveal to you or him that this relationship is not “the one.”
It was that way with my previous boyfriend. We were hanging on because we didn’t want to be without a special someone to belong to. However, it really was God’s plan that we break up because we really were going different directions.
Can God Reveal Your Spouse To You?
Yes. God can. As you start meeting people, there will be things about the relationship that will just click.
Here are some things to look for.
- Is he a Christian? If the answer is no, keep looking. God wants believers to be married to another believer. You can read what I wrote about that in this post, Praying for Future Family Members.
- Is he a solid Biblical Christian who acts on his faith? James says that “Faith without works is dead.” (James 2:26 ESV) You want a Godly man who acts on their faith and doesn’t just talk about his walk.
- Does he truly love you like Christ loved the church? (Ephesians 5:25-27) Even though these verses are talking about a married couple, these definitely apply. This man should be all sold out for Jesus and then you should be his next priority. If he doesn’t respect you and love you for who you are in Christ, then he is not the one.
- Does he listen to you and help you sort through what is troubling you? Is he giving you his FULL attention? Or does he dismiss it and do something else? Communication is key in a marriage relationship and needs to be two-way conversation every day.
- Is he respectful to your parents or other family members? Is he polite and even open your car door when you go on a date? (Yes, I am old fashioned that way!! It really shows that a guy cares about you and is willing to serve you.)
- Does he tell you the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15 ESV)?
- Do you have things in common and do you have some of the same goals in life? (i.e. having children or not, having a career or staying home and a part-time job).
- Is there a physical attraction to this man that draws you to him? Intimacy in marriage is essential to keeping the unity of your bond alive.
Then ask yourself some of the same questions of yourself. Do you truly love this man? Do you respect him? Is this someone that you want to be around for the rest of your life?
As you spend time with him and find out more about him, God will slowly reveal whether this person is right for you.
What Does God Say About Finding a Husband?
God didn’t want a man to be alone. He made all the animals and Adam named them all. But there wasn’t a suitable helper for Adam so He created a woman to be his helper.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18 ESV
What the Bible says about praying for a husband?
There really aren’t any specific scriptures that say ‘you should pray for a husband’ and these are some specific things to pray.
However, there are many scriptures about praying and asking God to fulfill your needs and desires.
“If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” John 14:14 ESV
“Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24 ESV
When you pray, take the list above and pray through it. These are all great topics to request from God when praying for your husband.
Why is God Making We Wait For a Future Husband?
Usually, when God says ‘no’ to a prayer request, there is a reason. There may be something he wants you to learn or grow in a certain area. Or your future spouse needs to learn or grow in a certain area to be ready for you. You never know the exact reason but God knows the exact day and time.
In the meantime, keep learning and growing in your relationship with Him. Soak up all the scriptures and pray diligently for God to be shaping the Godly man that He has for you. Ask Him to help you grow in areas that you need to be the woman of God that your husband needs as well.
Spend time with a group of Christian friends and enjoy this time. The waiting game is so hard and I have been there too. When it happens, you will know it and the timing will be right. You will look back and thank God that you had waited for this man whom you love so much.
And for the rest of my love story…
Over the next three weeks, I was enjoying getting to know God better. I was at peace.
But during that time, something was happening. Dave started flirting with me.
Towards the end of that three week period, I told him that we needed to sit down and have a talk. He agreed.
Dave already fit the description of many of my questions above. He was a strong Christian and he served the Lord well in the two summers that I worked with him. I could tell that he lived out his relationship with Christ.
As we talked, I told him that if we dated, I had some questions that I wanted him to answer. From my previous relationship, I knew that I needed to date someone who was going in the same direction that I was. I asked him the questions and he answered every one of them with a Yes! I still get goosebumps when I think of that day. God was revealing to me that Dave was ‘the one!’
We dated for 3 months and then he asked me to marry him. I said ‘Yes’ and we got married 11 months later. Marrying my ‘prince charming’ had come true!
Summary: Praying for your Husband
Dave truly is the love of my life and I am so thankful that God brought us together! Next month we celebrate our 34th anniversary!
One of the keys I believe in all of this is to not force romantic relationships to happen. When I let my ‘husband’ dreams go and really dug deep into my relationship with God, He became my everything. God became my ‘husband.’
Pray for your husband and wait for the right timing.
When you let go and keep your focus on God, He knows you are ready to take that next step of committing to a man that can become ‘the one.’
Cindy is a writer from Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is a wife to Dave for 33 years, a mother of two grown kids who serve the Lord, one son-in-love, one daughter-in-love, 4 wonderful grandchildren and foster grandchild. She is a full-time Information Services manager by day and a writer at night. She teaches a women’s Bible study at her church and runs the sound for worship.